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Single is HOT!

July 6, 2009
 

Seeing sweet couples in the corridors, library, quadrangle, gym, and canteens in the campus may make people feel like everybody is involved in a romantic relationship. But the fact is, many of us are not. And some of us are even planning to be “single for life”. 

 

For people with girlfriends or boyfriends, it seems necessary to also find a partner for their single friends. They believe that a being in a relationship is a blessing and their friend should also be able to experience it. This may be a sign of thoughtfulness and concern but actually, it may do more harm than good.

Being single in a world where people expect you to be attached is already
bad enough, you don’t have to go on pestering your friends.

 

In the Philippine college scenario, being single is not at all that ‘cool’, neither is it something to be proud of. Many single students are ridiculed. People may even call them gay or lesbian.

 

The cliché, “Sa ganda mong yan, single ka pa rin?” has been used for years as a more creative way of saying someone is good-looking. But, it is also tantamount to saying that beautiful people should be in a relationship. This implies that when you are not in a relationship, you may have to see a make-up artist or a plastic surgeon. If you’re single, you’re ugly.

 

This is not at all true (go self-esteem!). There are a lot of beautiful people out there who are single.

Another misconception is that single people are miserable people. Many believe that one
can only find real happiness in the arms of a partner. They believe that being single is a time of loneliness and despair and someone has to wait for a new relationship in order to be happy again. Well, that is entirely mythical.

More and more people are recognizing that one can be happy even without being involved in a romantic relationship. In fact, the apostle Paul encouraged singlehood.  “Now, to the unmarried and to the widows I say that it would be better for you to continue to live alone as I do” (Corinthians 7:8). Even Jesus led a celibate life. And was he depressed or miserable because of his celibacy? Nope.

 

The movie Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo featured many of the conflicts and issues surrounding a
relationship. Being serious college students, we already have headaches on how to budget our time. Surely, fitting in a relationship will just further aggravate the problem. Being in a relationship may bring a certain glow in someone’s life but it also has it darker side.

Not all relationships are perfect. That’s a fact. Many couples fight over a lot of things. It may be on where they are going to meet, how they should treat each other, how to handle financial matters and a lot more.

The naked fact that many people have been refusing to see is that singlehood is not that bad. It is neither a nightmare nor a curse. If life gives us lemons, we must learn how to make lemonade. We must learn how to make the best of the things that we have. As a matter of fact, single students have several advantages compared to their ‘attached’ counterparts.

 

Single people are free of unnecessary responsibilities. One of my friends has just had
her first relationship and was totally clueless about the duties she has to perform. Instead of worrying over her assignments only, she has to think of the academic problems that were bugging his boyfriend. Since she was a lot smarter than the guy, she turned to a tutor and worse, assignment maker. On the other hand, guys also have additional responsibilities when they enter a relationship. One of that is making sure that their girlfriends are safe, and attending to their needs. Just like how one guy said it, “It’s like having another sibling to take care of. The only difference is with girlfriends, you have to do a lot of extra stuff.”

 

Single people have more time to make themselves look and feel better. Many people who have recovered from the depression of losing a partner have regained not only their happiness but also additional things that they didn’t expect. Some girls for example have not just learned to forget their ex, but also learned how much their family and friends really loved them. Being single means you have all the time to improve yourself. You do not waste precious hours of sleeping time texting or speaking with your partner over the phone. You have more time to review lessons and hangout with your friends.

 

Single people are also spared from the financial problems brought about by having someone else to share allowance with. Many have problems such as where to find money to buy load or to be spent on a date or to buy gifts for their monthsaries. These days, almost everything has become more expensive. Even maintaining a relationship has become more financially draining. The usual couples have at least one date per week. A typical date includes, but is by no means limited to, eating in restaurants. After that, the couple may go to the cinemas or go to Baguio and have a good time. And between those dates, they have to call or text each other. A day won’t be complete without knowing the events that has happened to each other blow-by-blow. They also have to worry on what gift to give on their next monthsary. Knowing that we can’t buy decent gifts without spending more than a hundred pesos, the idea of giving gifts monthly can blow one’s mind off.

 

The bottomline is, being single is not a thing that we should be ashamed of. It is not something that can degrade our physical, emotional and psychological status. If truth be told, there are a lot of positive things associated with singlehood. We should respect the decision of our friends to be single. After all, it’s not the worst thing on earth. And it can be a blessing too. Who knows? Once your friend goes into a relationship, he may totally forget about you.

 

So back off, and stop teasing your friend for being single.

Posted by kablogg at 3:41 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

couldn’t agree more..

hehehe
“go self-esteem”
i just luv that….

Posted by jet at July 7, 2009, 5:55 pm

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